i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
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Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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