Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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