I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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