then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm jealous of your bromance
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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