if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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