kristin has been a bad kristin
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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