Having a random hookup so left but love u
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
