We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
