Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize