Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
