Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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