your parents love me but you hate me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm really busy with my period
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