what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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