summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
well you can't waste a boner
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
