I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
