eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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