I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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