Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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