hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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