Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
