I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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