Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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