made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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