I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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