Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
