no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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