Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
