i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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