He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
