if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
