Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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