I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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