They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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