Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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