thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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