at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize