Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
home. puking in laundry basket.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
