D3 body, D1 cock
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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