i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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