I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
