They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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