I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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