I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
