i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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