i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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