My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
