whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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