Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
