He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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