You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
