I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
