we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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