Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
