That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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