I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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